The ability to still maintain some form of connection with those we have loved and lost, I believe, is critical to our ability to adjust and adapt to our loss. I call them my buddies through the wildlands (of grief). They are extremely valuable tools as they allow us to ritualise the process of grieving and ritual gives us a structure which we can frame our grieving around. These are meaningful and special gifts, for ourselves or to give to others.
1) Journals – I bought a journal the week after Stuart died and have used one ever since. Writing allows us to communicate with our loved ones still, on paper. We can also draw, rant, reflect and muse. Journals make wonderful grief support tools
2) Take yourself for a walk or weekend away and spend time with nature – it is often when I am at the ocean or in the bush that I find it easier to connect (more on places to connect in a later post)
3) Visiting a medium to facilitate communication – extremely validating and uplifting
4) Lighting a Candle – this is a ritual held by many cultures and traditions. There is something special about lighting a candle, not just for gentle illumination but also to remember and connect.
5) Planting a memorial garden – something I did with my other son after Stuarts death. Birds and butterflies were common and somehow seemed to speak to me of the connection between us
6) Wearing a special piece of Memorial Jewellery – with a part of Stuart always with me, I always feel him close by
7) Photos of him…..everywhere. Photo frames allow our memories to come to life. Memories are etched in our hearts forever
8) Special keepsakes and mementos – keeping special treasures allows us to remember. By remembering we are still having a relationship with our loved ones
9) Reading – buy a book that takes you through the journey of grief, connects with others who have walked a similar path and help us to adapt to our strangely altered world. Healing facilitates connection with our loved ones.
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